I've given over 80 talks about mindset and goal achievement in the last 12 months to groups ranging from 20 to 2000 coming from all walks of life and practically every nation on the planet.
Whenever I begin one of my talks I always lay out the three 'big myths' about achieving your goals and why falling for them can cost you not only your goals but your passion and your happiness too.
In a later post I'll cover the other 2 myths but today I wanted to cover the myth of positive thinking as I believe that this is probably the most pervasive and negatively impactful myth around achievement and success that most people fall for.
Now, don't get me wrong; I'm a big positive thinker myself focusing upon the possible rather than the impossible, on the can rather than the can't and on the power, possibility and promise of a situation rather than the drain, strain and lack of gain that most people seem to focus on.
But that doesn't mean that I believe positive thinking creates positive results in and of itself.
It doesn't.
You see, depite what most people think, positive thinking has very little power to create the end-result you're most looking for whether that's earning more money, getting a better job, travelling the world or anything else that you may hold as being important to you.
Now, if you've read around mindset and goal achievement very much then you'll probably disagree with me on this. I don't blame you, this is how you've been trained to think.
So let's be scientific about this shall we?
Go and sit in the middle of a very busy highway. The busiest you can find.
Put a massive smile on your face and think happy, positive thoughts as the traffic whizzes by you at 70 miles an hour. You feel pretty good, right?
But just how long do you think your positive thinking will keep you from harms way?
Hmmm...
Another test.
Walk out in to your garden and smile and say over and over "There's no weeds, there's no weeds, there's no weeds"
Follow this little ritual on a daily basis for six months or even a year, maintaining a positive attitude to your garden.
Check out your garden at the end of six months and record the result.
Weeds right?
So look, positive thinking isn't the be all and end all of getting what you want.
Yes, it's an important part (after all, negativity certainly doesn't help ANYTHING) but positivity by itself only creates what I call 'Happy Fool Syndrome' where you maintain a smile despite whatever else is going on in your life. Sure, it's a better approach than going through life with a frown but it definitely won't guarantee your success in anything.
You see, positivity is only valuable to the degree that it gets you to take positive action.
That's critcially important so I'll say it again just to let it sink in.
Positivity is only valuable to the degree that it gets you to take positive action.
If you maintain a smile but don't DO the things that are PROVEN to create success then success simply won't come. It can't!
Only action changes anything, positive thinking doesn't.
So here's a little experiment I want you t try out for the next 30 days ok?
Stop judging your probability for success based upon how positive you're thinking and start judging it only on the actions you took toward making the goal happen; no matter how small.
Eating right, drinking right, cutting back on toxic load, getting enough sleep, exercising and controling your stress are all positive actions that will contribute to positive results in your health, energy and mindset.
Saving 10% of your income, paying yourself first, investing in learning new skills and using those you already have to their maximum are all positive actions that will see your income, your savings and your net worth increase.
Small actions, but they soon add up.
Thinking positively, on the other hand changes nothing, other than how you FEEL about things. (This IS important, of course, but not as much as most people think)
By all means, maintain a sunny, cheery disposition and a 'can do' attitude to life. I'm not knocking it, but make EVERY day a day where you took action on that positivity and things will change more than you'd ever believe.
Truth, joy and love
Dax Moy
P.S - My personal mentors Bob Proctor and Joe Vitale of 'The Secret' both agree with me on this. They believe 100% in maintaining a positive mindset but also recognise that only action has the power to bring about change.
That's why I wrote The MAGIC Hundred. I was fed up of being positive but achieving little....
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Thursday, 1 May 2008
The American Idol Success Strategy
Yesterday I told you about one of my clients who's a world-famous musician and what he told me about how he and his band 'made it'.
I got some great email comments about that post so I thought I'd tell you about another of my clients (also a celebrity) who beat the odds and and made a career, a life and a ton of money by following her dreams... and taking action on them.
My client went through audition after audition for the UK show 'Pop Idol' which is the sister show to American Idol over there in the states.
Her amazing voice, passion for her music and obvious love of performing quickly won over the judges in the early stages and she eventually made it to the televised stages of the show.
All good so far, right?
Now, if it had come down to passion, performance and skill as a singer alone then she was always the clear choice for the winner's spot as she had those areas down to a tee but there was a fly in the ointment.
Quite a big fly in fact.
You see, the trouble with most of the music and television industry is that they tend to go for a 'certain look' and, well, no two ways about it, my client didn't have that look.
In fact, by her own admission, she was far, far from that look.
She was over 200lbs heavier than that look!
Every week she'd have to read newspapers and trashy magazines putting her down saying "She's got a great voice but no-one who looks like THAT will ever win a show like this!"
Every week she'd take the stage and perform in front of a live audience and a TV viewing audience of MILLIONS who, whilst rooting for her on the one hand, were writing her off on the other with statements like "Well, she's done well to get this far but I can't see her getting any further"
And every week... she proved them all wrong!
Week after week, despite the 'negative support' ("You should be really happy to have got this far, but don't expect more") she was standing on the stage at the end of the show whilst others who, by appearances at least, seemed more likely to win were sent packing.
Come the final, people were still saying "she's good but..." and, despite what she'd already accomplished, were as certain as certain could be that she couldn't possibly win.
They were wrong.
Dead wrong.
Despite everyone telling her to 'be realistic', or 'be happy with with what you've accomplished' or even 'you'll never make it' (and an even more vicious beating up in the national press), this powerful, passionate and purposeful singer went ahead and achieved 'the impossible'.
She won!
Later, when I started working with her for a TV show we were filming together, I had the opportunity to ask her why she thought that she succeeded where everyone thought she would fail.
She told me "My belief in me was stronger than the doubt of others. Besides, most of those who were putting me down never even had the courage to apply for the show, let alone get up there on the stage and show the world what they were capable of. Just by being there I was already a winner..."
Four things stand out to me most.
First, she put herself forward, not for the thing that seemed 'logical', or 'do-able', or 'sensible' but for what she wanted most of all and, because of this, she invoked the power and the passion to accomplish her hearts desire.
Second, she took massive action and got 'into the arena' rather than sitting on the outside 'thinking about it' like most people tend to do. This immediate, massive and persistent commitment to pursuing her dream was a huge part of making it happen.
Third, she believed in herself fiercely. More than this, she refused to accept the judgement of others as to what was possible or not. In doing so, she made what she wanted far more important than what others thought and freed herself from the bonds of others (we could all do with learning this valuable skill).
Fourth, she provided a valuable service to millions of people, not only through the gift of her voice but through the hopes and dreams she rekindled by pursuing and finally winning her prize.
Imagine what would happen if you took and applied these four 'American Idol' steps to your goals and dreams.
Imagine if you focused on what you most wanted to be, do and have in your life rather than limiting yourself to what others say is logical or possible.
Imagine if you took immediate, massive and consistent action to bring that 'silly idea' of yours to life.
Imagine if you could learn to believe in yourself so much that you pursued your goal regardless of the judgements of others.
Imagine if your dream was based upon providing an amazing service to others and rekindled their hopes and dreams.
Imagine....
Truth, joy and love
Dax Moy
www.themagichundred.ning.com
P.S - A big part of winning the game is getting onto the field where the game's being played!
I got some great email comments about that post so I thought I'd tell you about another of my clients (also a celebrity) who beat the odds and and made a career, a life and a ton of money by following her dreams... and taking action on them.
My client went through audition after audition for the UK show 'Pop Idol' which is the sister show to American Idol over there in the states.
Her amazing voice, passion for her music and obvious love of performing quickly won over the judges in the early stages and she eventually made it to the televised stages of the show.
All good so far, right?
Now, if it had come down to passion, performance and skill as a singer alone then she was always the clear choice for the winner's spot as she had those areas down to a tee but there was a fly in the ointment.
Quite a big fly in fact.
You see, the trouble with most of the music and television industry is that they tend to go for a 'certain look' and, well, no two ways about it, my client didn't have that look.
In fact, by her own admission, she was far, far from that look.
She was over 200lbs heavier than that look!
Every week she'd have to read newspapers and trashy magazines putting her down saying "She's got a great voice but no-one who looks like THAT will ever win a show like this!"
Every week she'd take the stage and perform in front of a live audience and a TV viewing audience of MILLIONS who, whilst rooting for her on the one hand, were writing her off on the other with statements like "Well, she's done well to get this far but I can't see her getting any further"
And every week... she proved them all wrong!
Week after week, despite the 'negative support' ("You should be really happy to have got this far, but don't expect more") she was standing on the stage at the end of the show whilst others who, by appearances at least, seemed more likely to win were sent packing.
Come the final, people were still saying "she's good but..." and, despite what she'd already accomplished, were as certain as certain could be that she couldn't possibly win.
They were wrong.
Dead wrong.
Despite everyone telling her to 'be realistic', or 'be happy with with what you've accomplished' or even 'you'll never make it' (and an even more vicious beating up in the national press), this powerful, passionate and purposeful singer went ahead and achieved 'the impossible'.
She won!
Later, when I started working with her for a TV show we were filming together, I had the opportunity to ask her why she thought that she succeeded where everyone thought she would fail.
She told me "My belief in me was stronger than the doubt of others. Besides, most of those who were putting me down never even had the courage to apply for the show, let alone get up there on the stage and show the world what they were capable of. Just by being there I was already a winner..."
Four things stand out to me most.
First, she put herself forward, not for the thing that seemed 'logical', or 'do-able', or 'sensible' but for what she wanted most of all and, because of this, she invoked the power and the passion to accomplish her hearts desire.
Second, she took massive action and got 'into the arena' rather than sitting on the outside 'thinking about it' like most people tend to do. This immediate, massive and persistent commitment to pursuing her dream was a huge part of making it happen.
Third, she believed in herself fiercely. More than this, she refused to accept the judgement of others as to what was possible or not. In doing so, she made what she wanted far more important than what others thought and freed herself from the bonds of others (we could all do with learning this valuable skill).
Fourth, she provided a valuable service to millions of people, not only through the gift of her voice but through the hopes and dreams she rekindled by pursuing and finally winning her prize.
Imagine what would happen if you took and applied these four 'American Idol' steps to your goals and dreams.
Imagine if you focused on what you most wanted to be, do and have in your life rather than limiting yourself to what others say is logical or possible.
Imagine if you took immediate, massive and consistent action to bring that 'silly idea' of yours to life.
Imagine if you could learn to believe in yourself so much that you pursued your goal regardless of the judgements of others.
Imagine if your dream was based upon providing an amazing service to others and rekindled their hopes and dreams.
Imagine....
Truth, joy and love
Dax Moy
www.themagichundred.ning.com
P.S - A big part of winning the game is getting onto the field where the game's being played!
Wednesday, 30 April 2008
What's YOUR Song?
One of my clients is a musician.
A very well known musician.
His face has adorned the cover of practically every popular magazine, his music is known worldwide and the band he's part of is one of the most successful in the world in terms of popularity, longevity and record sales.
He's definitely 'there' as far as realising his boyhood dreams of making it big in the music world, for sure.
Yesterday I was asking him about the success that he and his fellow band-mates had achieved and what, if anything, had been the turning point. That point at which they knew they were going to make it.
His answer was amazingly simple and straightforward.
He said, there hadn't been a 'turning point' as such, there was just a lot of putting one foot in front of the other and taking the steps necessary to reach their goal of stardom.
Sounds a bit vague right?
That's what I thought... at first.
But then I asked, "what were those steps?" and I got the following reply.
1. We knew we wanted to make a difference so we kept that uppermost in our minds at all times... especially when things got tough.
2. We knew we wanted to be more than just another band so we did things differently from the start rather than playing the copycat game. We practically created our own genre of music and that helped us stand out from the crowd.
3. We knew that we were entering perhaps the most competitive industry on the planet and so we'd have to commit to being the very best we could be every time we went onstage or into the recording studio.
4. We knew that the rewards would not be immediate but that if we committed to the other steps, they WOULD come.
5. We KNEW we would make it!
Amazing huh?
I mean, becoming a multi platinum selling band and known around the world has GOT to be tougher than many of the goals we've set for ourselves, right?
In fact, considering the attrition rates of rock-star wannabe's, making a measly hundred grand, writing a book, travelling the world or getting rid of 20lbs should be one of the simplest things in the world.
Especially if you were paying attention to the success lesson that my clients' answers provided!
You were paying attention weren't you?
If not, here it is again.
1. Make a difference to the lives of those you're 'performing' for.
Yes, your job, your relationships, your friendships and how you live your life are just as much a performance as playing an instrument or acting onstage. If you know your part well and you're truly committed to serving your 'audience' with the best possible service you're capable of, then you're halfway there!
2. Be unique right from the start.
Forget copycatting and trying to be like everyone else. People aren't interested in just another 'me-too' version of someone else, but they could be VERY interested in you... if you make yourself interesting.
Create a Unique Identity or 'brand' around yourself that differentiates you from everyone else and you're immediately in the spotlight.
3. Commit to being the best that you can be.
Gain the knowledge, skills and abilities to become a true professional in your field. Commit to excellence in all things that you do and ensure that your excellence shines through clear enough that you stand out from others. (Become outstanding!)
4. Be persistent in your actions.
Take consistent and persistent action toward achieving your goals. Even the tiniest step is still a step that will progress you in the direction of your dreams of success. Thinking about what you could do changes nothing.
Do!
5. Have faith and belief in yourself and your dreams of success.
It's been said that faith is the belief in something you cannot prove, yet it has a funny way of delivering proof if you believe for long enough.
Don't just wish, hope and dream of success. KNOW that it's on its way!
If this formula can work to create fame, fortune and world-wide recognition for a musician, just think what it'll do for YOUR life!
Truth, Joy and Love
Dax Moy
www.themagichundred.ning.com
P.S - Everyone has a song inside them. That 'thing' they were put here to do.
Finding the song and singing it with all your might is the true key to lasting success.
What's YOUR song?
P.P.S - The MAGIC Hundred program has helped thousands of people to find their song in unique and inspiring ways that add power, possibility and promise to their lives. If you're ready to find YOUR song then check out the program at www.themagichundred.com today.
A very well known musician.
His face has adorned the cover of practically every popular magazine, his music is known worldwide and the band he's part of is one of the most successful in the world in terms of popularity, longevity and record sales.
He's definitely 'there' as far as realising his boyhood dreams of making it big in the music world, for sure.
Yesterday I was asking him about the success that he and his fellow band-mates had achieved and what, if anything, had been the turning point. That point at which they knew they were going to make it.
His answer was amazingly simple and straightforward.
He said, there hadn't been a 'turning point' as such, there was just a lot of putting one foot in front of the other and taking the steps necessary to reach their goal of stardom.
Sounds a bit vague right?
That's what I thought... at first.
But then I asked, "what were those steps?" and I got the following reply.
1. We knew we wanted to make a difference so we kept that uppermost in our minds at all times... especially when things got tough.
2. We knew we wanted to be more than just another band so we did things differently from the start rather than playing the copycat game. We practically created our own genre of music and that helped us stand out from the crowd.
3. We knew that we were entering perhaps the most competitive industry on the planet and so we'd have to commit to being the very best we could be every time we went onstage or into the recording studio.
4. We knew that the rewards would not be immediate but that if we committed to the other steps, they WOULD come.
5. We KNEW we would make it!
Amazing huh?
I mean, becoming a multi platinum selling band and known around the world has GOT to be tougher than many of the goals we've set for ourselves, right?
In fact, considering the attrition rates of rock-star wannabe's, making a measly hundred grand, writing a book, travelling the world or getting rid of 20lbs should be one of the simplest things in the world.
Especially if you were paying attention to the success lesson that my clients' answers provided!
You were paying attention weren't you?
If not, here it is again.
1. Make a difference to the lives of those you're 'performing' for.
Yes, your job, your relationships, your friendships and how you live your life are just as much a performance as playing an instrument or acting onstage. If you know your part well and you're truly committed to serving your 'audience' with the best possible service you're capable of, then you're halfway there!
2. Be unique right from the start.
Forget copycatting and trying to be like everyone else. People aren't interested in just another 'me-too' version of someone else, but they could be VERY interested in you... if you make yourself interesting.
Create a Unique Identity or 'brand' around yourself that differentiates you from everyone else and you're immediately in the spotlight.
3. Commit to being the best that you can be.
Gain the knowledge, skills and abilities to become a true professional in your field. Commit to excellence in all things that you do and ensure that your excellence shines through clear enough that you stand out from others. (Become outstanding!)
4. Be persistent in your actions.
Take consistent and persistent action toward achieving your goals. Even the tiniest step is still a step that will progress you in the direction of your dreams of success. Thinking about what you could do changes nothing.
Do!
5. Have faith and belief in yourself and your dreams of success.
It's been said that faith is the belief in something you cannot prove, yet it has a funny way of delivering proof if you believe for long enough.
Don't just wish, hope and dream of success. KNOW that it's on its way!
If this formula can work to create fame, fortune and world-wide recognition for a musician, just think what it'll do for YOUR life!
Truth, Joy and Love
Dax Moy
www.themagichundred.ning.com
P.S - Everyone has a song inside them. That 'thing' they were put here to do.
Finding the song and singing it with all your might is the true key to lasting success.
What's YOUR song?
P.P.S - The MAGIC Hundred program has helped thousands of people to find their song in unique and inspiring ways that add power, possibility and promise to their lives. If you're ready to find YOUR song then check out the program at www.themagichundred.com today.
Monday, 28 April 2008
Do You REALLY Deserve Success?
Whenever I start coaching a new client I always ask that question.
And the answer is pretty much always "Of course! EVERYONE deserves success!"
Interesting.
Even more interesting is when I ask 'Do you know what 'deserve' actually means?'
It's at this point that people start to 'um' and 'aah' and guess at the meaning of the word.
It's clear that most people have no idea about what 'deserve' actually means and so, that being the case, I can't help but wonder how they KNOW that they deserve success. After all, if you don't know the definition of a word, how can you know if it applies to you?
Let me put you out of your misery.
DESERVE comes from the latin word roots 'De' meaning 'of' or 'from' and 'servir' meaning 'service'.
So DESERVE literally means 'from service'.
That changes things a bit doesn't it?
It takes deserving from being a subjective feeling about what you should be getting to an objective assessment about what you're giving.
Not getting what you want from from your business at the moment? Give more service and it'll come.
Not getting what you want from your relationships? Give more service there too.
Not getting enough from life in general?... you know what to do!
Looking at what you're getting from life from the perspective of the service you're giving to others changes everything.
EVERYTHING!
If you don't feel like you're getting what you deserve then you're simply not giving enough service to others.
No if's, no but's.
This is an immutable law of success.
Want more?
Give more.
Period!
Don't think "What's the least I can do here to get a result?" Think, "What's the BEST I can give?"
Better attention to detail in your work?
Better telephone manner?
Better 'quality time' with those you care about?
Better commitment to making a positive imapct and leaving your mark on the world?
Better commitment to making more of each day you're given?
Yes please!
Give better service and then, when you think you can't give any more, find another way to 'squeeze more in'.
To your deserved success!
Dax Moy
Join The MAGIC Hundred Community TODAY at
www.themagichundred.ning.com... It's Free!
P.S - What one thing could you do RIGHT NOW to increase the service you're giving to even one individual? Identify it and do it and by definition you'll deserve more than you currently have... and you'll start to attract it to you too!
And the answer is pretty much always "Of course! EVERYONE deserves success!"
Interesting.
Even more interesting is when I ask 'Do you know what 'deserve' actually means?'
It's at this point that people start to 'um' and 'aah' and guess at the meaning of the word.
It's clear that most people have no idea about what 'deserve' actually means and so, that being the case, I can't help but wonder how they KNOW that they deserve success. After all, if you don't know the definition of a word, how can you know if it applies to you?
Let me put you out of your misery.
DESERVE comes from the latin word roots 'De' meaning 'of' or 'from' and 'servir' meaning 'service'.
So DESERVE literally means 'from service'.
That changes things a bit doesn't it?
It takes deserving from being a subjective feeling about what you should be getting to an objective assessment about what you're giving.
Not getting what you want from from your business at the moment? Give more service and it'll come.
Not getting what you want from your relationships? Give more service there too.
Not getting enough from life in general?... you know what to do!
Looking at what you're getting from life from the perspective of the service you're giving to others changes everything.
EVERYTHING!
If you don't feel like you're getting what you deserve then you're simply not giving enough service to others.
No if's, no but's.
This is an immutable law of success.
Want more?
Give more.
Period!
Don't think "What's the least I can do here to get a result?" Think, "What's the BEST I can give?"
Better attention to detail in your work?
Better telephone manner?
Better 'quality time' with those you care about?
Better commitment to making a positive imapct and leaving your mark on the world?
Better commitment to making more of each day you're given?
Yes please!
Give better service and then, when you think you can't give any more, find another way to 'squeeze more in'.
To your deserved success!
Dax Moy
Join The MAGIC Hundred Community TODAY at
www.themagichundred.ning.com... It's Free!
P.S - What one thing could you do RIGHT NOW to increase the service you're giving to even one individual? Identify it and do it and by definition you'll deserve more than you currently have... and you'll start to attract it to you too!
Thursday, 24 April 2008
Finish Every Day....
I just came across an old poem from Ralph Waldo Emerson that really struck a chord with me today.
You see, I've just come back from vacation in Thailand to lots and lots of emails from my readers and from the members of the Magic Hundred Community telling me that they feel like they often let themselves down.
That they don't always achieve the goals they set for themselves.
That they made 'silly mistakes' that they should have known better than to fall for.
Well, you know what?
EVERYONE feels this way from time to time.
EVERYONE has days when they haven't accomplished what they set out to accomplish.
EVERYONE messes up.
EVERYONE.
But how we handle these days determines what they mean to our 'big picure' goals in life.
The unsuccessful person and the successful one handle them VERY differently.
The unsuccessful person dwells on the shoulda, woulda, coulda...
The unsuccessful person blames themself, punishes themself and brands themself a fool.
The unsuccessful person makes the experience a negative one.
But those destined for success do things very differently.
The successful people don't dwell on things, they learn and move on.
The successful people don't berate themselves, punish themselves or lay blame. They take responsibility but not blame.
The successful people know that shoulda, coulda woulda is in the past and unchangeable; they focus on 'next time I will...' and put their energies to the present and the future.
The successful people make the experience positive by labelling it 'learning'.
See, it's not difficult to go from failure to success is it?
Just change what your experiences mean to you... and EVERYTHING changes!
Read Emerson's poem below...
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities
no doubt have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.
This day is all that is
good and fair.
It is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on yesterdays
Dax Moy
www.themagichundred.com
Join hundreds of other successful people over at the FREE Magic Hundred Community www.themagichundred.ning.com
You see, I've just come back from vacation in Thailand to lots and lots of emails from my readers and from the members of the Magic Hundred Community telling me that they feel like they often let themselves down.
That they don't always achieve the goals they set for themselves.
That they made 'silly mistakes' that they should have known better than to fall for.
Well, you know what?
EVERYONE feels this way from time to time.
EVERYONE has days when they haven't accomplished what they set out to accomplish.
EVERYONE messes up.
EVERYONE.
But how we handle these days determines what they mean to our 'big picure' goals in life.
The unsuccessful person and the successful one handle them VERY differently.
The unsuccessful person dwells on the shoulda, woulda, coulda...
The unsuccessful person blames themself, punishes themself and brands themself a fool.
The unsuccessful person makes the experience a negative one.
But those destined for success do things very differently.
The successful people don't dwell on things, they learn and move on.
The successful people don't berate themselves, punish themselves or lay blame. They take responsibility but not blame.
The successful people know that shoulda, coulda woulda is in the past and unchangeable; they focus on 'next time I will...' and put their energies to the present and the future.
The successful people make the experience positive by labelling it 'learning'.
See, it's not difficult to go from failure to success is it?
Just change what your experiences mean to you... and EVERYTHING changes!
Read Emerson's poem below...
Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities
no doubt have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely
and with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with
your old nonsense.
This day is all that is
good and fair.
It is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on yesterdays
Dax Moy
www.themagichundred.com
Join hundreds of other successful people over at the FREE Magic Hundred Community www.themagichundred.ning.com
Wednesday, 2 April 2008
What are You Choosing?
Have you ever noticed how easy it is to say you’ll do something yet how difficult it can be to actually follow through with it?
For instance have you ever found yourself saying that you’d love to lose weight or get fit or change your dietary habits and yet almost immediately you drop back into your old patterns of behavior again?
It’s frustrating isn’t it?
I think that most of us can relate to the frustration of desiring certain outcomes in our lives and yet failing to achieve them, I mean, who hasn’t felt the disappointment of failure when circumstances conspire against us and knock us off track?
One of the main reasons that many people fail to achieve the things that they say are important to them is that they feel unworthy of their attainment. As strange as this may seem and in spite of the fact that most people would deny self-sabotage on their part, nevertheless it remains true that most, if not all failures are self-inflicted ‘wounds’.
If you’re a person that has built a belief system that puts the problem ‘out there’ then you’ll probably find yourself strongly disagreeing with the last paragraph. After all, if it wasn’t because of work, money, time, the kids, your hormones or [insert excuse here] then you’d have the figure you always wanted and the life you’ve always dreamed for yourself wouldn’t you? Or would you?
It’s really easy to absolve ourselves of the responsibility for our lives and blame external circumstances for our failings and yet when it all boils down there really is no question that it is us and us alone that bear the responsibility for creating and owning the lives and bodies that we desire.
Maybe you think it’s work, money, time or something else keeping you from achieving what you’ve always wanted to attain, yet in reality it is something entirely different that holds the key to your successes or failures in reaching your goals.
Our view of ourselves and how we interact with the world around us is merely a result of the programming that we have received all of our lives. Whether we believe that we are good, bad or mediocre at any task that confronts us is a direct result of this programming and results in the most powerful of all forces available to us; our self concept.
The self-concept has been described as ‘The Master Programme’ of all human behaviour, and rightly so. So powerful is this aspect of our mental programming that the very way that we see the world, ourselves and the actions of others is quite literally filtered through its three-tiered filtration system.
The first tier, the self-ideal, refers to the standards that we have set for ourselves. We all have some idea about how we should look, how much we should weigh, how we should walk, talk, act and behave yet how many of us can state clearly what those ideals are?
Lack of specific focus and clarity in defining who we want to be lies at the heart of failure to achieve happiness with ourselves. You could liken it to setting out on a journey without having a destination, how would you ever know if you’ve arrived? By what standard would you judge your progress?
Those who are positive about their appearance and abilities in life have very definite ideals that they estimate their progress by. If they’re behind schedule they simply put in more work until they’re back on track.
What’s your self-ideal? If you don’t know then it’s time to think about it…Now!
• What does the ideal you look like?
• What does the ideal you weigh?
• How does the ideal you behave?
• How does the ideal you communicate?
• Who does the ideal you associate with?
• What does the ideal you think about?
Fill in as many blanks as you can. Create the best definition of your ideal you as you can. Then and only then will you ever get close to attaining it.
The second tier of your self-concept is known as your self-image. This is how you actually see yourself right now. If you see yourself as fat, unfit, ugly or in any other negative way then you will filter your life in order to show you evidence of what you believe. Every time you see yourself in the mirror you will see only these negative aspects of yourself.
Yet, despite the often vicious and unforgiving aspects of our inner-critic, it’s a relatively simple process to counteract its negativity. Just taking time out to logically question the validity of the criticisms offered often leads to an improved self-image.
For example;
• Has anyone ever complimented you on your appearance or ability?
• Are there areas of your life where your knowledge, skills and abilities are superior to those around you?
For most of us these questions, when answered honestly, will produce an affirmative response that can be used to build a foundation for other positive self-images. After all, if we’re positive and capable in only one area of our lives then we have a model of success to copy from into other aspects of our lives. All we have to do is figure out what makes us good in that area.
The answer will always include BELIEF.
The Third tier of our self-concept is self-esteem. This is how we feel about ourselves. How we estimate our value, if you will.
If you have a low self-esteem you will see yourself as being of both low intrinsic and extrinsic value to yourself and those around you. You will usually have a negative mindset where the ‘out there’ world is both better than you and conspiring against you at the same time. In short, you’ll blame your lack of success in your life, your diet and your fitness regime as being the result of others and ‘circumstances beyond your control’. After all, it’s not your fault that you don’t have enough money, time or energy to keep fit and stick to your diet is it? You’re trying your best aren’t you?
Yet honestly, do you really need lots of time or money to get fit, lose weight and develop the body and life that you’ve always wanted? If you valued yourself, you’d find a way even without these resources. Others have and so could you if you really wanted to.
Forget the justifications and rationalisations that you normally use to shift the responsibility that you have for your own life. They’re all nothing but excuses. All of them. Within you lies an unlimited source of power than can literally transform your appearance, abilities and very life if you only choose to tap into it.
The key is responsibility. The ability to choose the appropriate response to whatever life offers up to you. This starts within. You need to choose it. It doesn’t just happen.
What are you choosing for your life right now? Success and happiness or failure and desperation?
Choose well!
Dax Moy
www.themagichundred.ning.com
For instance have you ever found yourself saying that you’d love to lose weight or get fit or change your dietary habits and yet almost immediately you drop back into your old patterns of behavior again?
It’s frustrating isn’t it?
I think that most of us can relate to the frustration of desiring certain outcomes in our lives and yet failing to achieve them, I mean, who hasn’t felt the disappointment of failure when circumstances conspire against us and knock us off track?
One of the main reasons that many people fail to achieve the things that they say are important to them is that they feel unworthy of their attainment. As strange as this may seem and in spite of the fact that most people would deny self-sabotage on their part, nevertheless it remains true that most, if not all failures are self-inflicted ‘wounds’.
If you’re a person that has built a belief system that puts the problem ‘out there’ then you’ll probably find yourself strongly disagreeing with the last paragraph. After all, if it wasn’t because of work, money, time, the kids, your hormones or [insert excuse here] then you’d have the figure you always wanted and the life you’ve always dreamed for yourself wouldn’t you? Or would you?
It’s really easy to absolve ourselves of the responsibility for our lives and blame external circumstances for our failings and yet when it all boils down there really is no question that it is us and us alone that bear the responsibility for creating and owning the lives and bodies that we desire.
Maybe you think it’s work, money, time or something else keeping you from achieving what you’ve always wanted to attain, yet in reality it is something entirely different that holds the key to your successes or failures in reaching your goals.
Our view of ourselves and how we interact with the world around us is merely a result of the programming that we have received all of our lives. Whether we believe that we are good, bad or mediocre at any task that confronts us is a direct result of this programming and results in the most powerful of all forces available to us; our self concept.
The self-concept has been described as ‘The Master Programme’ of all human behaviour, and rightly so. So powerful is this aspect of our mental programming that the very way that we see the world, ourselves and the actions of others is quite literally filtered through its three-tiered filtration system.
The first tier, the self-ideal, refers to the standards that we have set for ourselves. We all have some idea about how we should look, how much we should weigh, how we should walk, talk, act and behave yet how many of us can state clearly what those ideals are?
Lack of specific focus and clarity in defining who we want to be lies at the heart of failure to achieve happiness with ourselves. You could liken it to setting out on a journey without having a destination, how would you ever know if you’ve arrived? By what standard would you judge your progress?
Those who are positive about their appearance and abilities in life have very definite ideals that they estimate their progress by. If they’re behind schedule they simply put in more work until they’re back on track.
What’s your self-ideal? If you don’t know then it’s time to think about it…Now!
• What does the ideal you look like?
• What does the ideal you weigh?
• How does the ideal you behave?
• How does the ideal you communicate?
• Who does the ideal you associate with?
• What does the ideal you think about?
Fill in as many blanks as you can. Create the best definition of your ideal you as you can. Then and only then will you ever get close to attaining it.
The second tier of your self-concept is known as your self-image. This is how you actually see yourself right now. If you see yourself as fat, unfit, ugly or in any other negative way then you will filter your life in order to show you evidence of what you believe. Every time you see yourself in the mirror you will see only these negative aspects of yourself.
Yet, despite the often vicious and unforgiving aspects of our inner-critic, it’s a relatively simple process to counteract its negativity. Just taking time out to logically question the validity of the criticisms offered often leads to an improved self-image.
For example;
• Has anyone ever complimented you on your appearance or ability?
• Are there areas of your life where your knowledge, skills and abilities are superior to those around you?
For most of us these questions, when answered honestly, will produce an affirmative response that can be used to build a foundation for other positive self-images. After all, if we’re positive and capable in only one area of our lives then we have a model of success to copy from into other aspects of our lives. All we have to do is figure out what makes us good in that area.
The answer will always include BELIEF.
The Third tier of our self-concept is self-esteem. This is how we feel about ourselves. How we estimate our value, if you will.
If you have a low self-esteem you will see yourself as being of both low intrinsic and extrinsic value to yourself and those around you. You will usually have a negative mindset where the ‘out there’ world is both better than you and conspiring against you at the same time. In short, you’ll blame your lack of success in your life, your diet and your fitness regime as being the result of others and ‘circumstances beyond your control’. After all, it’s not your fault that you don’t have enough money, time or energy to keep fit and stick to your diet is it? You’re trying your best aren’t you?
Yet honestly, do you really need lots of time or money to get fit, lose weight and develop the body and life that you’ve always wanted? If you valued yourself, you’d find a way even without these resources. Others have and so could you if you really wanted to.
Forget the justifications and rationalisations that you normally use to shift the responsibility that you have for your own life. They’re all nothing but excuses. All of them. Within you lies an unlimited source of power than can literally transform your appearance, abilities and very life if you only choose to tap into it.
The key is responsibility. The ability to choose the appropriate response to whatever life offers up to you. This starts within. You need to choose it. It doesn’t just happen.
What are you choosing for your life right now? Success and happiness or failure and desperation?
Choose well!
Dax Moy
www.themagichundred.ning.com
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
What Has Dax Moy Half Naked In The Jungle Got To Do With Goals?
As the author of The MAGIC Hundred, I'm often asked how much of my own material I live by, how much I incorporate adventure, health, finance, relationship, education and other goals into my life.
In other words, people want to know "Do you walk your talk?"
Well, watch this video that I shot in the middle of a Thailand Jungle and decide for yourself : )
I reckon I do... what are YOUR thought? : )
Dax
www.themagichundred.com
P.S - Don't forget to check out the Magic Hundred Community over at www.themagichundred.ning.com
In other words, people want to know "Do you walk your talk?"
Well, watch this video that I shot in the middle of a Thailand Jungle and decide for yourself : )
I reckon I do... what are YOUR thought? : )
Dax
www.themagichundred.com
P.S - Don't forget to check out the Magic Hundred Community over at www.themagichundred.ning.com
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