Monday, 15 October 2007

Is FEAR Holding You Back?

Are you happy with your life?

No, I mean REALLY happy.

Are you living the lifestyle you want to live?

Are you doing the things you want to do?

Do you have someone to love and who loves you back equally?

Do you feel that your life is taking you to the places where you want to go?

Are you inspired, motivated and looking forward to life?

Sadly, if you’re like most people, the answer to these questions will be ‘No’, with a very rare few of you able to answer ‘yes’ across the board.

One question.

What are you doing about it?

For most people the honest truth is that day-in, day-out they actually do very little to improve the quality of their lives in any real way.

Sure, they may whine, moan and complain about how unfair it all is but when it all boils down you’ll find that very little ever gets done to change things for the better.

Why not?

Why is it that the very things that could make us happy beyond our wildest dreams are rarely, if ever, attempted?

What holds us back?

In a word; FEAR.

Most of us never realise, or wouldn’t admit it if we did, that the ultimate barrier to the realisation of our goals is fear.

Now, I’m not talking about abject terror here, we’re rarely that scared of our barriers, but simple, low-level, background negativity that reduces our confidence, lowers our self esteem and persuades us that we’re not up to the task, that we’re not good enough. In other words, fear can be described as:

Forever Expecting Awful Results

The result of having fear ever present in our lives is that we simply stop trying.

We give in and settle for less than we’re capable of so that we can avoid the pain of confronting our fears, yet in the long run, living below our potential causes us pain anyhow.

We become increasingly frustrated at our lack of progress in the important areas of our lives and fall into a vicious cycle of wanting more and yet being too afraid to try.

This situation reflects the lives of countless millions of people around the world who go through lives of quiet desperation thinking ‘is this all there is?’ and yet the answers to all of their dreams and desires are in front of them all the time.

They only have to look in the right way.

One way to determine how to make your life the work of art you desire is to model people who are already successful in their own lives.

These people normally exhibit very similar qualities and attributes that if emulated create a blueprint that those of us willing to put forth a little effort can use to create similar results for ourselves.

Extensive study of success literature written in the last century has revealed that every person who has made a success of one or more areas of their lives has done so by following certain laws or rules that those who are less successful have not.

These are:

Rule 1: No-one can do it but you.

Reality check.

There are no knights in shining armour, no winning lottery tickets, no inheritance money and no ‘unknown benefactors’ who are going to suddenly appear and make your life perfect.

As much as we all like to believe in fantasies and miracle cures, the real truth is that these occurrences are so few and far between that they will affect less than 1 % of us during our lifetimes. Yet how many people do you know who are living for the day ‘when I win the lottery’?

The reality is that you could die waiting for the ‘happy ever after’ if you rely on chance or blind luck. The sooner you realise that it is you and only you who can make your life better the sooner you’ll start to see success.

Rule 2: Stop making excuses.

We all have our own personal lists of ‘if onlys’ and ‘buts’ don’t we? You know the sort of things I’m talking about ‘If only I had more money I’d have a better life but I don’t so I’ll have to make do’ or ‘I’d love to be/do/have but...’

For most of us that are living beneath our potential it becomes crucially important that we recognise these words for what they are … Excuses.

Excuses are the ultimate in self-sabotaging behaviour and as long as you use them you’ll be sure to fail in absolutely any endeavour that you are attempting.

In fact, excuses are so powerful in holding you back that I suggest removing the words ‘if only’ and ‘but’ from your vocabulary permanently. Seriously, try it for 21 days. Don’t allow yourself the luxury of justification, rationalisation or any other form of passing on your own responsibility to others. Whenever you catch yourself doing so, reset the clock and start over. Your goal is to achieve 21 days of excuse free living.

You’ll be amazed at how much you’ll get done in this time!

Rule 3: Your beliefs become your reality.

The old saying ‘if you can conceive it you can achieve’ it is only partly correct.

Only with belief can something become a reality.

If you believe you can achieve something then you’re right.

If you believe that you can’t then you’re also right.
It’s that simple.

You see, beliefs are kind of like a software programme that’s continuously running in the background in the subconscious part of our minds where it receives its commands from our conscious mind.

Whether we believe that we’re beautiful or ugly, successful or unsuccessful happy or unhappy our subconscious minds will actively seek out evidence to support these beliefs by filtering in or out the relevant information to make them true…to us. This is why we must be ever vigilant about what we choose to believe about ourselves and the potential our lives hold for us.

Rule 4: Select your inner circle

There is a saying that in the next five years of your life the only things that will change will be the people you mix with and the books you read.

This is a way of saying that our lives are heavily influenced by those that we allow to penetrate our barriers or inner circle.

Indeed, our self image and hence our self esteem and beliefs have been formed as a direct result of every relationship that we’ve had since birth.

Every word of support, comfort and love serve to build a positive image of who we are and our value or self-worth whilst every criticism, put-down, snipe or negative comment will lower the value we place on ourselves.

For this reason it’s vitally important that we carefully select those that we allow into our inner circle.

If your friends, family or work colleagues are persistently negative about you specifically or life in general then do your best to limit your contact with them and associate instead with those who make you feel more positive about yourself and your abilities.

Who do you allow into your circle?

Rule 5: Get out of your comfort zone.

Successful people are those that are ever looking forward toward a better, brighter future. They choose goals that challenge and test them and stretch them to new limits in order that they can grow and prosper.

Compare this way of thinking to most people and you’ll see that the opposite is usually true. Instead of rising to meet a challenge most people take the path of least resistance by staying with what they’re comfortable with.

Unfortunately, success is rarely if ever found in your comfort zone. Simply put, if you always do what you’ve always done then you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.

If you’re happy and successful then great but if you’re not then your comfort zone becomes your prison, yet it’s one of your own making and you can leave at any time.

What have you always wanted to do but never gotten around to doing?

Rule 6: Take action

Though the first 5 rules are clearly important they are impotent and powerless unless the last ingredient is added…Action!

You see, it takes more than just inspiration and motivation to be happy and successful. It also takes perspiration and hard work. This may not be what you want to hear yet nonetheless it’s true just the same.

Those who have made successes of their lives have been willing to pay the price whether that be monetary cost, time, study or physical sacrifice. They have taken consistent actions over time that have led the results that they desired. Nothing more, nothing less.

What specific actions could you take on a regular basis that could contribute to YOUR success?

As simple as it may sound that’s really all there is to achieving the successes you desire. I know you’re thinking that this is too simplistic to be true yet look at those who you consider successful. Without exception they will be following these rules to greater and lesser degrees.

If they can achieve their dreams with this formula, why not you?

The dreams you keep within your heart can each one day come true,
The keys and locks that bind them are held only by you.

(Dax Moy The MAGIC Hundred)

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Are You As Dumb As An Elephant?

As many of my readers know, my family and I have travelled
extensively and regularly to Southeast Asia, and Thailand in
particular, to broaden our horizons whilst at the same time deepen
our family bond in beautiful and inspiring surroundings.

These times are always amongst my favourite times of the year, reminding me of what I work so hard for the rest of the time... to learn, explore and discover with my family.

On a recent trip, I took my family to the Chiang Mai
region in Northern Thailand, where mountains, jungle and amazing
rivers combine to create a fantastic backdrop of colours, sights and sounds.

A true feast for the senses!

While we were there, we took an elephant jungle trek tour that
allowed us an 'elephants' eye view of the jungle as we waded rivers, climbed hills and descended into deep valleys and gullies.

It was an amazing experience to see my children first fearful, then a little more relaxed and then outright excited and thrilled to be privileged enough to share this experience with the largest land mammal on the planet.

During one of our short stops to feed and reward the elephants with a handful of bananas and sugar cane, I noticed that the Mahout(elephant handler) simply popped a small rope on a stick into the ground and tied the elephant to it and walked off, leaving us on the elephant alone.

As I looked at the stick I wondered what foolishness must be going
through this little man's mind.

I mean, here we were, sitting on a 5 ton hunk of muscle and pure power and the guy had hitched it to a thin rope and a stick no thicker than my thumb!

I fully expected the elephant to (in elephant-speak) laugh at this puny little thing, pull it out of the ground and walk off with my son Connor and I into the jungle never to be seen again.

But that didn't happen.

The elephant didn't walk off.

It didn't even TRY to pull the stick from the ground.

It stayed exactly where it was waiting to be 'released' from its bondage.

When I got back to the camp, I asked the mahout about this and he
explained a concept that had totally blown me away at the time, and
still does to this day.

He told me "We train the elephants when they are very young by using thicker ropes and heavy beams or tree trunks. When the young elephant pulls, it is pulling against an immovable object and so soon tires and gives up.

Eventually, over a short time (and several smaller trees and sticks), the elephant stops pulling altogether, believing that the attempt is futile and will always end in failure.

It merely gives up."

As a performance coach I couldn't help thinking of many clients I'd
worked with who were doing exactly the same thing in their lives.

People who were trained when young about what was possible and what was not when they were too weak to pull against these ideas and release themselves to being successful.

Now they're all grown up, they're like the elephant, unwilling to try because they're so sure it'll end in failure that they don't even bother.

It made me think about about all the times I'd quit in the past and all of the people who write in to tell me of their own decision to do the same.

Everyone's got goals, dreams and aspirations that they've have left by the wayside because some well-meaning friend or loved one told them 'would only end in heartache and failure, so why bother?' right?

Dreams that someone said were 'silly' or 'childish' or 'unrealistic'.

But what if they're not any of these things?

What if, just like this big, beautiful yet dumb creature we've have been conditioned to believe something that is totally and utterly untrue?

What if, just like the elephant, we could literally rip up the chains that are holding us down and walk off into our own jungle of success and happiness...if only we had the courage to pull, and keep on pulling in order to bring about the things we want?

We can you know!

Many, many people who once led lives of total and utter desperation
now live lives that most of us would consider pure fantasy with houses, planes, boats, cars, money and above all, happiness that would never have been theirs if they hadn't 'pulled against the rope' that was telling them they couldn't possibly win.

You CAN, but will you?

Will you write that book that the small voice inside of you tells
you that no-one will ever read?

Will you take that trip to those places you always dreamed of but that your wallet tells you that you can't afford?

Will you lose that weight that your 'slow metabolism' insists won't

Will you buy that house, start that business, learn that language.....?

I could go on all day, but in the end, when all's said
and done, it's you and ONLY you who can pull the stick from the
ground and break free.

No-one is going to do it for you.

No-one CAN do it for you.

You, and only you have the power to do this.

Start TODAY!

Truth, joy and love


P.P.S - Please don't send me any hate mail. I am not elephantist, I
love 'em. 'Dumb' only refers to their inability to recognise the power they have but aren't using. : )

Saturday, 6 October 2007

Is That REALLY Your Best?

I get a lot of mail from people who tell me that they're disappointed with the results they're getting out of life and that, despite trying everything to get ahead, they're still not living the life they dreamed of.

It always makes me smile a bit when I hear that.

Not because I find their struggles funny, of course, but rather, because what they describe as 'everything' rarely, if ever, is anywhere even near what they could have done to bring their goals to life.

I know, because I've often found myself saying that 'I've done my best' only to find that later, when I really thought about it, there were so many other things I could've done...

...but didn't.

Perhaps you're the same?

Maybe you've gotten into the habit of saying "I've done my best" or "I did everything I could do!" or "There's nothing more I could have done!" and, like so many people, sabotaged your own success in life through giving up on what you want too early because you thought that there was no way to bring your goals to life.

If that is you (and I know it is, because that's all of us at one time or another) then you need to stop and think about what doing your best really means.

It's not quitting when things start to get tough.

It's not giving up because there are obstacles in your way.

It's not doing 'just enough to get by'.

It's not even giving it everything you've got.

That's still not enough.

You see, 'everything you've got' isn't really everything. It's just what you think you're capable of giving.

But that's nowhere near your true limits.

You've always got more than you think you've got.

You've always got a 'reserve tank' with more capacity to do, be and have more.

The trouble is, when you quit too early, you never get to find out just what that capacity is. You believe that what you've been doing is as much as you can possibly do.

It's not.

Dig in.

Dig deep.

If you truly want something in your life then go deep into that 'reserve tank' and find out what your best is really capable of.

Once you do, everything changes.

So, are you REALLY trying your best?

Dax Moy

Thursday, 4 October 2007

Are you refusing to sing?

When cellphone salesman Paul Potts from the UK first walked on stage for his audition on 'Britain's Got Talent' (kind of like American Idol, for my U.S readers)and announced that he was going to sing opera, you could almost hear the audience snigger and the rolling of eyeballs amongst the judges was clear to all.

For whatever reason, whether because the subject was opera, or Paul didn't look like a musical superstar or because people had an idea about what was or wasn't possible from someone 'like Paul', you sensed that it was a foregone conclusion that his time in the limelight was going to be short-lived indeed.

Yet, just seconds later, Paul Potts opened his mouth, began to sing and let forth the most beautiful, harmonius notes you could imagine, leaving both audience and judges stunned and crying with the beauty of what he created.

Now, several months later, Paul is being compared with the late, great, Pavarotti and has a successful album, money, TV appearances and a completely new life that he loves.

But it could have been so different.

He could have stayed at the cellphone store.

He could have torn up the application for the show instead of sending it in.

He could have listened to those around him who told him that he'd never get on the show.

He could have refused to walk onto that stage.

He could have looked at the sniggering faces and the rolling eyes and thought 'Not today...'

He could have refused to sing.

But he didn't.

And because he didn't, because he stepped up and sang.... everything is different.

Makes you think doesn't it?

Makes you wonder 'If only I'd stood up an sang when I had the chance...'

The thing is, it's not too late.

You can start right now by standing up and 'singing' your goals to life.

Let Paul Potts show you how...

Dax Moy

Tuesday, 2 October 2007

The conversation

I just got off the phone with a student on my mentoring program who told me he was having difficulty staying motivated at the moment.

It seems to him that many of the goals he's set himself over the last year have lost their sparkle and just don't really 'do it' for him anymore.

Obviously, goals and goal setting are my 'thing' so I was genuinely interested to find out how this intelligent young man could go from super-motivated to the complete other extreme in so short a space of time.

I thought we'd start with the goals themselves, just in case they were the problem.

"Can you read me a handful of goals off of your goals list?" I asked.

"Umm...not just now" He replied.

"Why not?" I enquired, puzzled at the change I'd heard in his voice at the end of the line.

He answered like a schoolboy who'd forgotten his homework.

"I don't have it with me"

"Well that explains a fair amount of your lack of focus" I said, "What about your POWER Questions sheet? Can you read me your three morning tasks please?"

Silence, then "Umm... no, I don't have those either"

He sounded even more like the schoolboy now.

"I understand what's going on here my friend" I said. "You've not been looking at your list daily have you?"


"And you rarely, if ever, perform the morning and evening POWER Questions right?"

"I get really busy and run out of time" He snapped defensively.

"I understand, but you need to understand something too.

It's the very act of the reading and re-reading of your goals that creates their reality. Read them just once and they've no power at all. Read them 20, 30, 40 times a week and you've got the most amazing system (The Reticular Activating System) working in your favor"

"That's the problem, I'm not sure if I believe in that" he replied.

"You don't HAVE to believe, simply suspend disbelief long enough to find out what happens when your goals live at the top of your consciousness for long enough.

Write your goals and carry them with you at all times.

Read them as many times a day as you can.

Talk about them with friends and loved ones.

Complete your POWER questions everyday.

Simply stay focused on what you want and what you want will start to appear in your life"


What Can You REALLY Achieve With The MAGIC Hundred?

When I first heard about John Goddard's Life List I knew that the key to having an extraordinary life was within my grasp.

It was the simple act of deciding in advance what you wanted, writing it down and taking small steps every single day in the direction of your dreams.

This is what I did and my life has changed amazingly ever since.

That said, by comparison to John Goddard, my own MAGIC Hundred journey is barely beginning.

Check this out!

By the way, notice that when Goddard talks about setting goals, he talks of commitment. He says 'you don't just write it down and let it lie there... you DO it!'

If there ever was a true 'secret' to having your goals come true, that's it don't you think?

Think of the possibilities!

Have you ever stopped to think of the unlimited possibilities that lie before
you at this moment?

I mean REALLY stopped and thought about how many opportunities are awaiting you
right now, if you'd only take some action and reach for them?

I think that if you really thought about it for even a minute, you'd stun
yourself with the sheer scope of possibility that awaits you.

But the trouble is, that's not how most of us think is it?

Most of us focus, not on the possibilities but on the roadblocks and, in doing
so, commit ourselves to to the very mediocrity that we're trying to escape from
in the first place.

There's always a reason why our idea won't work.

There's always a 'yeah but...'

There's always a 'one day...'

But what if you made TODAY a day of absolute possibility?

What if you committed to just 'playing' with the ideas that have been bouncing
around in that head of yours?

What if?...

Go take a look at and see what can happen when you
open up to this way of thinking.

Truth, Joy and Love